Fic - Saiyuki - All in the Look - PG

Title: All in the Look
Fandom: Saiyuki
Pairing: Sanzo/Hakkai
Rating: PG
Warning: Sap? I can't tell...
A/N: For Sharon's request. I'd like to read a 100-500 word drabble in which one guy tells the other guy that he's never wanted anyone like he wants him.

Ended up being 519 words written in 20 minutes. [sheepish grin]



They bumped along the ox path that served as their road. It was smooth as far as ox paths go, which wasn’t necessarily a good thing. The headache Sanzo nursed was making him cranky.

Well, crankier than his usual cranky.

Hakkai still managed to endure it with his usual aplomb. Smiles and good natured ribbing to remind Sanzo he was being an asshole, but never saying it.

Sanzo looked over at the youkai, feeling his headache abate some. There was something about just looking at Hakkai that made his insides flip. The last time he felt anything like that was with his master before his death. He had been isolated as a child, the other monks wanting little to do with him. Only Master Sanzo.

While the others talked to Sanzo like he was a child, not Master Koumyou. He had always managed to treat him like an adult. Or as much as an adult as an 12 year old could be treated. And Sanzo always found it comforting to be in his Master’s presence, like all the worries of the world slipped away and there was nothing but the moment.

Many years passed before Sanzo would know the comfort of being in a presence that was as calming as his Master’s. And when it came, it was in the form of eyes so green they almost matched spring grass. Just being in the same room as Hakkai was sometimes enough to ease his ill temper, and the loneliness so poignant in Sanzo’s life when it managed to wiggle past his walls.

It was felt most heavily in those moments after Hakkai and Gojyo spent time together. Hakkai had a personal history with Gojyo that went a bit deeper than his own. Sanzo tried not to allow the uncomfortable feelings of jealousy take over; most of the time he succeeded.

Sanzo had been with Hakkai through his ‘death’ and ‘rebirth’. It was something that meant a great deal to Sanzo, even if he never said it. Idly he wondered if Hakkai knew he had never wanted for anything, more than Sanzo wanted Hakkai. And all that it implied. Somehow, he knew Hakkai knew. Hakkai knew a great many things, even those things that were left unspoken. His ability to cut down to the heart of the anything, or anyone, was as unique and special as the man was himself.

Shaking off his melancholic thoughts, he watched as Hakkai concentrated to negotiate through a particularly neglected section of the road that wound through a long forgotten forest. Everything the youkai did, it had purpose and meaning. Humorous or serious, movement or thought, all had a deeper implication than was easily observable on the surface.

A warm hand came to rest on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Sanzo, looks like the road is leveling out again. How’s that headache?” Hakkai’s soft voice drifted over the pull of the jeep’s engine. When he smiled, those green eyes pierced down to Sanzo’s soul. Something in that gaze caused Sanzo’s stomach to flip again.

Yes. Hakkai knew. And it was okay.